Ass dating fucker

Those letters are now dwarfed by letters from women asking how to take it up the butt." Okay.

But pronouncements and statistics that indicate the rising popularity of rearguard action don't address some nagging questions—the biggest one being how, presuming they haven't had their own rectums messed with, can so many guys justify asking women to let them take the service elevator?

(Please note: this world also devalues free-flowing, emotional discourse from a woman unless she’s also funny AND sexy. How can we make enemies of people we want to get dirty with, and get love from, and make babies with? Those filthy, simple-minded, government-bungling ball-scratchers.

If you’re not super fucking hot and funny first, you can go fuck yourself, ladies.) Kanye isn’t perfect, but you pretty much either love him and think he’s a genius and then he makes some sense to you, or you don’t get it and he seems crazy.

You dig me, you put in effort, you aren’t remotely tepid, we can relate to each other, and you make me feel like the things that are patently fucked about me are actually thrilling and vital and they somehow matter. You don’t believe me, but I spent years around this species and I appreciate them. I’m not saying I’m hot, and I’m not saying I’m disgusting, all I know is that to them, I am dipped in shit. Most guys I met preferred my flirty lady friends to me.

(And I know you’re exciting and I love your juicy booty, but that’s not the point.) Now imagine for a second that someone writes to me and says, “Look, you’re just ok and you’re old and you’re wasting your time on this bullshit.” (Um, no one does that, because this isn’t Salon.) But imagine that someone does tell me that. That said, though, I don’t want to follow their meandering bullshit wherever it leads, and I don’t want to flirt, and I don’t want to feed their egos. Usually, this starts after I open my mouth, but maybe not? Now sometimes slightly weird guys, slightly smarter, stranger, maybe more damaged or maybe just more sensitive guys (or both), they were a little intrigued by my not-buying-it face and my assertive here’s-what-I-fucking-think fat mouth, or maybe they just liked my ass, which truly was a force of nature for a time.

To which he says, “Fuck you AND your Hampton house, I’ll fuck your Hampton spouse, came on her Hampton blouse,” etc. So here’s where we land: You need to tell tepid to fuck right off, Kanye-style. Eventually, Todd did the deed with Miss Ladylike in the usual way, and continues to, but they still have a whole lot of anal sex. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated that in 2002, 38 percent of men ages 18 to 59 had entered a woman's back door.Thirty-five percent of women ages 25 to 44 had invited men in.With all due respect to Salt-N-Pepa, let's talk about Todd. He's a rare breed—a finance guy who lives in L. He's been dating the same ladylike woman for three years.They are the picture of late-twentysomething, Amstel Light—drinking America.

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