Dating an asian girl

"Date an Asian chick" has become akin to "Go skydiving" or "Live in New York" in the veritable white guy bucket list.

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Without even trying I managed to get another Asian girl hooked on me and wanting to seriously date me. With White girls, you need both social and sexual confidence and you need to man up and show it right away the first time you meet them or be forever in the friend zone.

So I'm neurotic about some aspect of that, whether it's my weight or the particular paleness of my skin or my big feet or what have you. Don't cross me when I'm mad because something like the kimchi slap will happen to you.

But I'll expect you to say it right if we start dating each other. My mom and other family members paid really close attention to my appearance. Not gonna lie, there's a tiny dork-nerd in every Asian.19. I blame the Asian-language TV soaps I was weaned on. Which is why I always ask for hot sauce and have an emergency bottle of Tabasco in every purse.21. So strike the phrase "Asian persuasion" from your vocabulary.

When you get there, look around: the best Asian girl to pick up will be the one wearing a hoodie and heels (there is always one). As she takes out her phone to tell you, you should make a nice comment about her phone flair (Asian girls always have some bedazzled jank hanging off our phones, usually a cartoon duck or a jade tiger). Asian girls will go on a date with anyone if she can tell a cutesy story about it later: "And then, after he saw my Keroppi keychain, he asked me out at Pinkberry! " STEP TWO: The First Date It doesn't matter where you take an Asian girl on a first date as long as you stick to the following topics of conversation: food, fashion, and making fun of other Asians ("So, your friends just stayed in and did math problems? However, no matter what you do, don't step on the yellow-fever land mine that is acknowledging the Asian fetish.

Yes, we all implicitly know what's going on here -- why else did America go to war in two Asian countries last century? Us girls all like to pretend that we're your first Far East foray.

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