Dating terms of endearment

Proverbs 22:1 says, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Few things are as esteeming as being called by name by someone with your best interests at heart. It's not ultimately about what this man calls you but about what his intentions are.

Not only is he calling you pet names prematurely, he's doing so after you've asked him not to.

The man in your life, however, hasn't earned that level of intimacy. Rather than endear you to him, the liberties he's taking are (or should be) pushing you away. Had you known this man a long time, with much of that time being in person, I'd feel differently.

As it is, he is a very new acquaintance, one you've not even met.

I meant it jokingly, but he took it a different way, and I didn't bother to correct him.

I told him the terms were premature, and he agreed.

Lately I've been thinking how helpful it would be to follow some of the conventions from Jane Austen's books and the era her stories portrayed.

Instead of leaping ahead to an intimacy that isn't warranted or wise — with nicknames once reserved for the most private conversations among spouses — we'd all call each other Mr., Mrs.

Instead of wondering if it were OK to call a close male friend (say Thomas Hall) Thomas, Tommy, Tom, honey, babe or whatever, we'd default to “Mr. I "met" him online through a mutual friend, but he lives in a different time zone, and we have not seen each other yet; that should happen in a few weeks.My concern is that I think I am involved in a pseudo-romantic relationship.This makes me wonder about his character and trustworthiness. And you're also right to wonder how meeting men long distance changes the nature of the relationship. Certainly you're not alone in your experience: Nearly 1 in 4 couples meet online these days.But the mere fact that it's common doesn't erase the need for caution.

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