Filthy chat with men

The women would not discuss the intimate parts of their lives at first, resorting instead to vague words and platitudes: ‘Muslim women must give husband,’ said one of them. And from all the evidence, it is clear the men in question still blame the victims and feel no remorse. Yet, painful as it is to say, it became clear, too, that the men are not alone in blaming the victims. I am now alone, no money, no life.’It is wrong to suggest all Asian men are sexual predators.

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Nusrat fought back, saying: ‘You know our girls are raped by uncles, fathers, brothers and imams. She was afraid of him but she, too, thinks white girls are: ‘Filthy. They have no shame, no fear of Allah.’Was it OK to hurt them the way the men did? We need research into why a disproportionate number of Pakistani Muslim men in Britain commit this crime as well as offer compulsory re-education for those who have been locked up.

Thanks to the procession of disturbing court cases and the BBC drama Three Girls, based on the Rochdale scandal, we now know the gruesome details of the crimes.

But we know nothing about how these rapists behaved behind their own closed doors.

They had wives and children – how could they commit such abhorrent crimes? The men, always controlling, had become more so with time, angry as they grew older and as the children grew up.

And now, at last, I was getting access to the family members. It will be a long time before I forget the three hours of emotional chaos, disorientation and pain that followed. These are not matters that are commonly discussed among Muslim women. These were marriages with no hugs or kisses, with little overt love and a great deal of fear.

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