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They may be more oriented toward undergraduates, but they can often help you find the right sources of help. Otherwise, you could get a “reputation” around the department. Better advice: Do not treat graduate school as a dating pool in which you are a shark and everyone else is a tasty tuna.On the other hand, it’s perfectly normal for people to meet in grad school and start dating—you may have similar interests, and dating a fellow doctoral student is an infinitely better option than dating a professor. Don’t take classes with Professor So-and-So because he/she is the mortal enemy of your adviser.And because many advisers think that stress, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed (all potential signs of something more serious) are a normal part of grad school, they are often reluctant to suggest students seek help. It might be a joke, but it’s one that reveals certain heteronormative gender expectations. I simply did not hear this piece of advice directed at me as a woman.Better advice: If you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed, contact your university’s counseling center. Instead, I received somewhat different advice from women who’d been to grad school: Only date someone in grad school if you think you will be in a long-term relationship with them.well, I wouldn’t say “well.” With two such relationships making recent news in the discipline of philosophy alone, for some of the older generation of professors (again, mostly male), the grad students are still a dating pool—and vice versa.This is not just icky—it is highly damaging to the profession.This is what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life, so you should (a) find out if you like it and (b) work to get better at it.

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Staying out of petty feuds is a good way to maintain your personal integrity, even if it sometimes feels harder to do so. Don't bother to apply to "teaching institutions" if you're a serious scholar.Since I won’t ever have a tenure-track job, I feel it’s my moral obligation to put some giant, flashing warning signs around the bad advice that perfectly well-meaning people might offer to graduate students. Depression is normal among doctoral students, so you should just tough it out/exercise more/throw yourself into your work/do some yoga. Shine notes that her advisers discouraged medical leave, but that’s only one way that grad school can take a toll on students.Sadly, depression is common in grad school—or at least it’s common enough to be a fairly large concern. It can be a socially isolating experience, made worse by the financial strain of low pay, loan payments looming in the future, and the fear of never getting a tenure-track job.In the five years I was on the academic market, all but one of my on-campus interviews required a teaching demonstration.Sometimes the topic didn’t relate to my area of specialty at all.

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