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^ It would be as easy to say the safe word and be done with it in real life too.
the fact that she doesn't push that button means she has a trust built up for the person dominating.
just make her do stuff you want, it doesn't always need to be sexually related.
Make her for example drink coffee when you want and clean the room when you want and then go for sexual actions.
I mean, some things you just have to meet in person for.
And how are most, if not all, of these successful long-distance couples making it work?
One really great thing to do is to deny the climax until you want her to be finished. If you don't understand this particular situation or if it isn't for you specifically then just let them have their relationship on their terms without unneeded grief and judgement.
The heat just builds up all the time you deny her final satisfaction and when finally comes she will explode.
Make her tease herself and deny her an orgasm and tell her when she can finish etc.
You can't dominate someone a continent away when they can literally push a button to make you go away, ffs.