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It’s loud, it’s rambunctious, there’s barely any real human interaction in it, in fact, for most of its almost-two-hour-duration, it’s epically goofy. Vin Diesel’s character, the extreme athlete-turned-spy-turned-smirking frowner Xander Cage is pulled out of retirement (and death?

But here’s the catch: It’s also the best possible version of the sort of film it could ever have hoped to be. ) because a new global threat has presented itself.

Now, depending on the sort of moviegoer you are, you could either expect to leave the theatre deeply satisfied, a dumb smile plastered on your face, or you could leave waving your fist angrily in the air, rueing the day the thought of watching x Xx: Return of Xander Cage ever crossed your mind, and cursing the person who convinced you into doing it.

Blame it on the hype, or blame it on Deepika Padukone; there’s no two ways about this, but we must all accept the fact that this film is not very intelligent.

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But - and this is going to please you all - Deepika Padukone’s character is given a surprisingly decent amount of screentime.

On several occasions, she adds a much-needed spark to the proceedings, which sometimes – but not too often – almost threaten to topple under the sheer brute force of the action.

In more good news, Deepika has excellent chemistry with Vin Diesel, who delivers a predictably magnetic, movie star performance.

No need for long narrations, I'm sure you've heard them all before.. But I can tell you something real that matters to me the most though..

I'm not a saleswoman, no need to build myself up to catch your attention.. Bec many people will only describe 'The Goods' and not mention 'The Bads'.. At this time of my life, I just want a quiet, drama-free-every-day-life.

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