Replying to online dating

You may not be interested, but you can’t just pretend that the person isn’t standing there talking to you. So we have developed all manner of ways of saying no thanks, in what is hopefully the kindest way possible. And a couple times, women I have written to actually have replied with nice no thank you messages. And – here’s the odd part – a little uncomfortable.

None of us likes to be rejected, and if we have any empathy about us at all we’re uncomfortable inflicting pain and/or embarrassment on someone – especially since that person’s only crime is thinking we’re kinda neat. When I first signed up for back in 2010 I didn’t know the rules. It turns out that I much prefer being ignored to being acknowledged in cases of rejection.

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Busy week, other things to focus on – sometimes I forget I sent a note at all.

How long does it generally take for a match to respond?

Sarah The speed of someone’s response will depend on their online dating site habits and their level of interest in a match.

It could be down to work schedule or a holiday, so don’t take it personally.

To kick a match into action if you haven’t heard anything within that time frame, you can send a follow-up.

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