Undue dating mistakes

Here is a partial list, in approximate order from the most mild to the most intense: uncomfortable, uneasy, embarrassment, chagrin, inadequate, self-blame, feeling guilty, humiliation, dishonored, feeling ridiculous, mortified, self-condemnation, self-reproach, mortified and toxic shame. The proverbial red face is an unmistakable physiological response to shame, often called embarrassment.People who feel ashamed want to withdraw or hide; they often look down or look away.The more trivial the cause of the shame, the more shameful it becomes to acknowledge that is what you feel ashamed about.[Gil] Understanding what can trigger our shame, what separates shame from guilt, and how we can resolve our shame helps us to cope with our feelings.If this spurs us on to constructive action, it is helpful.If it becomes overwhelming and prevents us from talking about our feelings or taking action, then it is dangerous. By alerting us to times when we failed to do our best, it can help us improve.While shame is a failure to meet your own standards of behavior, guilt is a failure to meet other's standards of behavior.Shame tell us you have not done your best guilt tell us you have harmed another, you have not been compassionate, you have ignored the golden rule. Shame is I am bad while guilt is I did something bad.

While pride is our emotional reward for doing good, shame is our emotional punishment for doing bad.

Shame reflects a decrease in stature while pride is the emotion reflecting an increase in stature.

to cover, to veil, to hide Shame is closely related to, but distinct from guilt.

Rationally refute any unfair or disproportionate self-blaming.

Become reassured that your true friends continue to accept you as you are. It provides an incentive (as a negative sanction) to work to increase stature.

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