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And you have an issue, with, say, your different approaches to money (or sex, or religion, or raising kids, or alcohol, or resolving an argument), and you’ve either a) discussed the issue but can’t come to an agreement on it, or b) have chosen not to ever raise it at all, then you can’t spend 3-8 more years in that relationship failing to act on an issue that still bothers you every day. But eventually, the truth will out, and he’ll want the divorce, and that awkward breakup he could have instead faced years earlier will seem like a cakewalk.

You may not be deliberately trying to hurt her, or rob years from her life, but that’s what you’re doing. Because now there are a lot more complications (and victims) involved.

You’re not doing your partner any favors, and you’re probably interfering with your own future chances at romance, too. So when it comes to relationships, gentlemen: no stealing allowed. By staying on the fence, guys, we not only further rob our partners of their chance at happiness, but we muddy our own sense of identity, too.We’re living a double-life, where we’re compromising on crucial beliefs.I knew I was going to be the “asshole” and put it off as long as possible.But let’s say you begin dating a woman when you’re both 30.

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